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| Barbara's Monday sunrise |
Ladies, when you open your eyes wide and look at life objectively rather than subjectively, what do you see? Do you see ugliness or beauty? Do you see life or death? From the time I was a teenager, I sought high and low for my purpose in life. At 37, I finally knew what I wanted to be when I grew up - a public relations extraordinaire. I quit my job and enrolled full-time in college. I'll never forget the premonition I had in the admissions office. A pessimistic feeling overwhelmed and forewarned me that I would be that close to earning my bachelor's degree, then something would happen. I ignored that sinister incubus and enjoyed my collegiate life at University of North Florida as a communications major, public relations intern, member of the public relations student society and staff writer for the student newspaper. I was a carefree, sassy divorcee and an empty-nester traveling north on Life Is Wonderful Blvd.
Fast forward two years: My dream was evolving into reality, and I was six weeks away from graduating, relocating to Miami, enrolling in the graduate program at Florida International University and pursuing a career in public relations. One night while preparing for a trip to Miami the next morning, my daughter informed me that her favorite uncle - my youngest brother - was terminally ill. Within one week, I withdrew from college, deferred my dream and returned to Tennessee to take care of Christopher, who I thought would live at least another year. Two months after my arrival, he died from complications of AIDS. After his burial, I immediately lost my sanity, fell into deep depression and mourned my loss from 1995 to 2002.
-demetrice
21st Century Woman Spotlight
Barbara's Monday Sunrise
Business woman Barbara Cusack discusses her faith in God in the comfort of her living room. She owns a residential and commercial cleaning service and markets her Four Tias Black Bean and Corn Salsa brand in stores across Central Florida.
"I stopped asking, "Why me?" when I turned 41. That was a momentous event in my life finding out I was HIV positive. I figured that I would make the best out of being HIV positive. Why not me? Since then, I've opened up my heart more to people. I have transitioned into having a love walk trying to reach out to others regardless of knowing that I have a status."
-Barbara recalls the last time she asked God, "Why me?"
BARBARA CUSACK lives a rather unpretentious life in a small, quaint two bedroom house located near downtown Orlando, Florida. Leather seating, antique chairs and tables and a well-preserved grandfather's clock deck hardwood floors in the living room area. Sentimental pieces of wall decorations add value to the cozy room. A small collection of 'rescued' international dolls sit on glass shelves inside a tall, slender lighted curio cabinet designed with glass and laminate wood. Various sizes of God-made and man-made seashells rest on a white wooden shelf above the picture window facing the south.
Oh, how she would love it if the picture window overlooked the east so that she could own the breath-taking view of red, yellow, auburn, gold and blue colors commanding the distant horizon at sunrise for her mesmerized eyes to see.
"I relish seeing a beautiful sunrise. I love it. Seeing the sun when there are no clouds around makes me say, 'Oh, thank you God. I'm sorry for complaining'," says Barbara. A strong unpretentious faith in God expands beyond what her spiritual eyes can see and what her human mind could never fully understand. She does understand one thing - the beauty of life.
"It's so beautiful being alive. I have been HIV positive for many years. I am so very thankful that I get to see the sunrise," says the 47-year-old single woman who received her diagnosis 15 years ago. She contracted HIV from her husband who died in March 1997.
Barbara's relationship with Jesus Christ changed after her diagnosis. She ceased being a religious woman and became a spiritual woman because "my way of being religious was not working. I don't want to go back to how I was never again. I don't want to be religious anymore."
Since surrendering to God six years ago, Barbara has cultivated a more spiritual friendship with Jesus Christ and God, which has given her the inner peace she's never known before. Many doors of opportunity have opened wide for her to connect spiritually. She prays continuously throughout the day for forgiveness and the safekeeping of others . She takes love walks and reaches out to love the unlovable. She obeys the still small voice that commands her to forgive others without a pause. She honors and serves God because of the goodness and mercy bestowed upon her during her period of spiritual transition. She knows from whence her blessings come.
Absent a miracle, Barbara also knows the day will never come when she'll smile at a picturesque sunrise from the picture window inside her quaint home. That's no problem because opportunity knocks every Monday morning when she gets an important wake-up call from the Holy Spirit.
"I have an opportunity to look at the sunrise on Monday when I travel east going to work. So I try not to be late," she chuckles.
Barbara's cleaning business gives her access to many clients' homes, and she cherishes helping others bring chaos to order. She believes that her purpose in life is to serve others. Hearing clients say, 'I've been looking for that,' or 'You've done a great job,' confirms her belief that the Lord wants her to be a faithful servant to others.
And Barbara wants to be a faithful servant to the Lord. In order to understand exactly what that entails, she attends Bible study every Wednesday, read devotional books, seek spiritual guidance from her mother and always stops and prays (ASAP) to be as flexible as Him.
"If I have a client in need, I always stop and pray. I'm never too busy. I've learned to be flexible by taking a few extra minutes to stop and pray for someone. That's what Jesus did," says the gregarious spiritual woman who also stops and saves (SOS) beautifully crafted dolls from being discarded into a pile of garbage.
The picture window in Barbara's quaint home doesn't face the east for her to awaken to beautiful sunrises. However, it is this honest to God truth that this HIV survivor faces every day that matters more to her - she arises every morning witnessing yet another breath-taking, glorious and beautiful Son-shining day that the Lord has made for her.
Barbara recently transitioned from living with a parrot and territorial cat to sharing her home with her boyfriend and his three dogs. The feisty feline transitioned, too. When the dogs moved into his space, he relocated to the next door neighbor's backyard.
"It is my prerogative as a spiritual woman not to be afraid of transitions because God wants us to be open to change. I'm not just the cleaning lady. He put the dream inside me to make my brand of salsa. I have the right and privilege to transition when He calls me to transition." - Barbara
-demetrice
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| Ana Marie Lowry |
Prerogative of Spiritual Woman - Part III
What's Coming in January 2012
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| Listen more than you speak. |
The Beauty of Silence
Why it is important for women to take a break from talking and listen quietly to their inner voices whispering the truths about their personal and professional lives
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