The Fabulous Five!!!!!

Hello, Ladies.

How strong is the corporate sisterhood bond where you work? 

You know, some people believe wholeheartedly that a workplace which employs mostly women is a workplace filled with jealousy, shallowness and backstabbing.  Some people don't believe that women can work well together and cheer one another on all the way up the corporate ladder toward the glass ceiling without a semblance of envy or negative hate-filled commentaries. 


Let's face it, some women don't believe that women have the capacity to work well together and build meaningful professional relationships based on trust, honesty and  integrity.  Are we really our own worst enemies? Say it isn't so.

The myth of a dysfunctional sisterhood among working women must now be cremated and buried out to sea-from-shining-sea since many smart,  intelligent and powerful women know the value of offering genuine sisterly love and support for another sister in their midst. Celebrating sisterhood opens our hearts and minds to recognize the value of women in an environment which has for too long been championed as a man's world.  The earth-shattering truth is that there is no area in any global environment where women cannot prevail when we stand together joined together at our phenomenal and strong curvaceous hips.

One of my pet peeves is the negative television portrayal of women cat-fighting one another over absolutely nothing. In my mind, we must showcase the goodness within our hearts.  And what better place to do that than in the workplace - career woman to career woman.  Help lift up your sisters with love, respect and honor.  

This month's 21st Century Woman Spotlight features five fabulous women from Central Florida who have this corportate sisterhood thing down to an impressive embraceable science.  I love that they embrace sisterly love. So will you!!

Enjoy!!
                      -demetrice


21st Century Woman Spotlight

Beautiful smiles on beautiful faces...

Five fabulous women, who are never at a loss for words, take a break after finishing a candid and upbeat interview to strike a pose in front of the their home away from home. Standing in front of the Westgate Resorts' Lake Ellenor call center building in Orlando are (l-r):
Wendy Vargas
Jennifer Rakoczy
Carolina Mejia
Jasmin Pabon
Lisa Duzant-Rhoden

"I am shocked every day that I walk into a meeting with our VP, and it's all women around the table.  You don't see that much. I have to admire my boss because there are not a lot of men who would be comfortable having five women directors sitting at his table making decisions for this center.  It takes a lot of confidence on his end, and I like to think that we've earned his confidence.  I give him kudos because there are not a lot of men who are strong enough to do that."
                                                         -Jennifer Rakoczy

The beautiful smiles on their beautiful faces
are as different as their college studies in theology, pre-law, business management, pre-med and computer science.  They smartly wield the power of their commonality as mothers, sisters, daughters and wives to their advantage in an environment with a predominately female workforce.  Yet their powerful force rests impressively not only in their gender, but also in their overall professional character as smart, intelligent and results-driven leaders and decision-makers who get the job done just as effectively as male counterparts who hold similar positions.

They have a strong affinity for women in power because their accomplishments send an important message that other women can walk down the same pathway to corporate success with confidence.  These five career-minded women whimsically admit their passion for a good pair of stylish shoes; however, what Wendy Vargas, Jennifer Rakoczy, Carolina Mejia, Jasmin Pabon and Lisa Duzant-Rhoden love more is walking the walk as professional women supporting other professional women in achieving glass ceiling-shattering success.  These ladies happily share their knowledge with and gain knowledge from other women who walk down similar paths of life inside and outside Westgate Resorts' Lake Ellenor call center in Orlando, Florida.

Outsiders may suspect gossip-mongering, catty fashionistas at competitive odds rather than emotionally intact business-savvy directors, managers and team members working cohesively together making high-level business decisions that affect the company's bottom line.  For directors Jennifer and Lisa, managers Jasmin and Wendy and team member Carolina, business is business and life is life. It's as simple as that. On a consistent basis, The Fabulous Five value integrity, excellence and tender loving sisterhood in an environment where finding balance is the key to effectiveness.

Jasmin Pabon

Jasmin, 31, jokes regularly to her female director, "You're the longest relationship I've ever been in,"  however, she never takes their endearing relationship for granted. She shows respect and unconditional love for the woman who is not only her leader, but also her confidante, mentor, voice of reason and best friend for ten years.  Jasmin, who hails from Orlando, also holds a special sisterly place in her heart for Lisa, Wendy, Carolina and the other women in the call center.

"There is no strife between us.  This is not a place where we don't want to see the other woman be successful.  We want to see the other woman succeed.  And even though we like a good pair of shoes, we're more concerned about the quality of our work, our integrity and what we're doing for our team members. That's what I like about working with these women."

Jasmin, a divorcee with no children, says the working woman who is a mother, wife, church leader and girl scout leader must have balance in order to be a productive employee.  Direct and to the point, she drives home the point that despite the "many hats we wear," women must focus on the job at hand instead of what's happening in their private lives if they want to achieve excellence.  The fun-loving aspiring pianist practices what she preaches to team members: 'Leave your troubles on the trouble tree.'

Carolina Mejia

Powerful women exuding par excellence brightens Carolina's pretty face with a sparkling, ocean-wide smile. The diminutive 25-year-old closing officer and recent college graduate has been with the company for six years. The advancement of women in high-level positions at Westgate Resorts gives her hope for the future.

"I actually like seeing women in power. I think it's a great thing because culturally we have come so far... to think that not so many years ago we couldn't vote in an election. Now I am seeing that most of our directors and managers are women. I like to see women in power just because I like the success."

Self-motivation and moral support drive Carolina at high speed toward her career goals. The St. Cloud resident values time spent with the female director who doubles as Carolina's career advisor behind closed doors. Because of the benefits she's gaining from the one-on-one advisory sessions, she plans to provide similar support to help other women grow, as she has, in their careers.  Carolina knows in her heart that women can crash through the proverbial glass ceiling and do a better job than men.

Lisa Duzant-Rhoden

Women must overcome their fear of success, according to the 36-year-old Clermont resident, wife, mother of three young boys, friend, leader and analytical enthusiast. Lisa believes too many women abandon thoughts of crashing the proverbial glass ceiling because they associate corporate success with cutthroat misbehavior.  Motivating women to abandon their comfort zones and seek new territories challenges this fearless leader.

 
"The one area I'm trying to encourage women to do better in happens to be their greatest fear. If a woman I'm coaching tells me about an obstacle, I tell her she can do it. She has to know she can do it because it's not just about knowledge. It's a matter of desiring or wanting to do it, and getting over the fear of doing it."

Lisa has worked at the call center since 1999.  She says women chosen for a manager or director position do not necessarily apply for the positions. She explains that women are given opportunities at the call center because of their sterling reputations for excellence, trustworthiness, action and capability.  If a 'successophobic' team member should one day approach this tall, slender and articulate woman for motivational career guidance, Lisa would carefully and methodically analyze the situation, then offer the following words of encouragement: "Strive to do the best job that you can do, and do it with integrity.  You can do it!"

Wendy Vargas

According to this leader who has been with the company for seven years, women can help one another by identifying each other's strengths and grooming each other for success in the workplace. Wendy believes in this relationship building formula because it builds women's confidence and empowers them to take charge and advance their careers to the next level.  The photogenic, tech-savvy 27-year-old also states that women leaders must walk the walk and talk the talk each and every time in order to build a strong manager - team member relationship based on trust.    

"Being leaders, we must have the right attitude because sometimes we don't make the most popular decisions. My team members must trust my decisions because there is a reason behind it. I have to instill in my team members that I am doing the right thing. I have to show them that they can trust that the decision I make is the right decision. It's important to know they can trust you, and you can trust them."

Wendy, who lives with her fiance and their one-year-old son in Orlando, hammers the point that building trust takes time.  In the meantime, she suggests that women maintain balance and focus, allocate the right amount of time and effort to every task and use constructive criticism as a learning tool to achieve excellence.  And, if a woman wishes to exceed self-expectations, Wendy would strongly advise her to be "willing to change."   

Jennifer Rakoczy

Under no circumstances is Jennifer willing to change from being a polite leader who commands respect to an iron-clad fist leader who demoralizes team members. However, she is willing to do her job "better today than yesterday." The Altamonte Springs denizen is also willing to be the 'nutty' one or the 'voice of reason' during brain-storming sessions when some days seem more challenging than others for either her or other women, and they need a woman's perspective (no disrespect to the men) when making business decisions.

"We all get together and have that feedback off each other where two can get nutty and two can be the voice of reason. With women, the conversation becomes more free-flow where the stream of consciousness is a little more beneficial. I think it helps in the end with the brain-storming. It may take a little longer to get there, but in the end we have a much better project."

The well-spoken, ebullient 46-year-old wife and mother of a teenage son says building relationships based on  mutual respect and unconditional love makes it easy for women to speak freely and honestly about one another's  strengths and weaknesses.  Jennifer states that she, Jasmin, Wendy, Lisa and Carolina have no problems expressing their honest opinions because they are helping each other to grow. 

The beauty of Fabulous Five's relationship is
that each woman knows the truth comes from the hearts of sister-friends who want to see the other stride confidently down the pathway of success in a good pair of comfortable stylish shoes.  

Jasmin Pabon jokingly tells her director, mentor and best friend Jennifer Rakoczy, "You are the longest relationship I have ever been in."      -demetrice

What's Coming Up in September

mysterious woman

there lies within her a secret so quiet... no one will ever know just what  -

it's private.            

LISTEN: Candace Ribblett and Adele Doctor Speak from Their Hearts

Hello, Ladies.

Before you delve into this month's issue, I want to ask two questions:  Have you ever felt so all alone in your emotional pain?  Are you on the national bone marrow registry? 

Candace Ribblett shares pieces of her story about a recent bad experience that brings her to heartbreaking tears. Even though I had the same bad experience, I really don't understand HER pain nor can I appreciate it because my emotional level of pain was less intensive.  Furthermore, the empathy she shows for someone who I consider unworthy baffles me because it never crossed my mind to express some degree of empathy after my inhumane experience.  I salute the compassion within her. That's that on that!

Adele Doctor, the 21st Century Woman Spotlight honoree, explains why more African-Americans should register as bone marrow donors. According to the National Marrow Donor Program's BE THE MATCH brochure, "seventy percent of patients do not have a donor match in their family. They depend on people like you." I joined the national marrow registry to help save a life.   Are you on the registry?  If not, think about it.  That's that on that!

Enjoy!!                          -demetrice                                                                                                        

Women All Over the World Cry Similar Tears

Quantum physics aficionado Candace Ribblett showcases her favorite book.

"If you have a certain belief about something that's negative, then it's not gonna fix the problem. But you can fix the past by the decisions that you make today all through a belief system."

  -Candace Ribblett on getting back to moments of happiness after falling into a sinkhole of life.

“Fell in the sinkhole of life, took me a while to see the Light,” Candace Ribblett responds in her e-mail almost three months later after my request to schedule an interview for this newsletter. "                   

 “You fell into a "sink hole.” That's kind of deep. I sincerely hope that you are seeing the beauty of life. I do believe that you are going to recuperate just fine,” reads my reply.

 She e-mails back, “I am kinda deep. I am learning to see the beauty in life. "For every setback/ sinkhole or challenge I face in life, my soul has the ability to emerge triumphant and stronger than before. Thanks for the encouragement. Do you know that encouragement is oxygen for the soul?”

We meet at one of her favorite places, Perkins Restaurant in Kissimmee, Florida, and we are ready. Candace walks in with a cane and is ready to talk. I am ready to ask only three questions because a mutual friend forewarned me of her awe-inspiring loquaciousness. She shares her touching poems, her long-held belief system and decades of personal pains. However, she had not prepared herself for displaying a very private emotional moment in a public establishment.  As for me, I'm always prepared.  In case of an emergency, I always carry around a full tank of “oxygen for the soul."

My first question references the ‘sinkhole’ statement. I mention the poetic nature of those words. The master builder, researcher and spiritual messenger, replies, “Yeah, that’s what I’m about. I kinda speak like that. Some people understand, but they don’t always understand.”  Of course, at this point, I don't understand how people cannot not understand if they really understand.  I listen more closely for clearer understanding.

Candace, a native Virginian who was born with cerebral palsy, openly discusses her recent diagnosis of Asperger’s syndrome (a form of autism), quantum physics, lost perspective during moments of unhappiness, private tears shared with her empathetic cat, her cries of help to apathetic humans and that “awful birthday present” she received last December, the most altruistic month of the year. 

She was at home assembling bicycles for the children of the family she adopted for Christmas when she received a call from a friend who offered his assistance.  “But that wasn’t his intention at all,” she recalls of his arrival inside her home where she keeps a baseball bat near her bed. 

The enemy, disguised as her friend, ignored her objections and overpowered her limited physical defenses. She played dead, rhetorically speaking, until he finished raping her body and parts of her soul. It was the only way for her to come out of the violent attack alive in hopes of witnessing a kinder more gentle tomorrow.

“Sometimes bad things happen to good people. People weren’t listening when I reached out for help,” says Candace, who believes the police officers seemed apathetic to the criminal act against her because the man who she thought was her friend told them it was consensual sex.

I don’t see it coming. When Candace opens her floodgates, I am not prepared to hold and console this woman who believes in the goodness of people despite their malicious nature to hurt good people like her. Instead I implore, “Candace, don’t cry on me.” Truthfully, I’m not equipped to handle unexpected emotional outpouring from someone in this much pain, particularly in public. 

Tears roll slowly down her cheeks as she speaks softly about the emotional and psychological aspect of the rape which happened on birthday number 42. She doesn't provide physical details, nor is there a need for such details because I, like many women all over the world, have cried similar tears from the parts of my womanly soul that were criminally molested and violated by a demonic male-being devoid of heart, soul and humanity.

Metaphorically speaking, I wrap my consoling arms around Candace’s beautiful soul by revealing my story that happened 40 years ago on a dark night in a park. I didn’t tell her that instead of calling the police, I blamed myself and not my attacker. Although my heart knew a crime had been committed against me, my apathetic mind pronounced the attack as consensual sex because I should have gone home after my first “NO! and before the late evening turned into a dark nightmare. See, I thought he was my friend.  More illogically, I thought he was man enough to take no for an answer. Most illogically, I foolishly thought like a tease and simply did not think like a self-respecting young woman.

Candace holds her head down, wipes tears from her eyes with a white paper napkin while crying out her pain, then says, “I could have let that ruin my life, but I choose not to…You have to be who you are, in control and follow the light that’s in your soul.”  

Now I understand how some people who claim to understand cannot really understand without engaging in a spiritual quantum physics relationship with this compassionate human being in order to actually understand the heart wrenching pain deep down inside her glorious womanly soul.  Candace believes that the synergy of spiritual thoughts will heal not only her aching soul, but the rapist's cold heart.

I don't fully understand her belief system - so I offer Candace my sisterly love and give her an abundance of oxygen for her soul.             
                                                                                 -demetrice

Click here: The Howling Wolf Beyond the House by Candace.




21st Century Woman Spotlight


Director of Programs Adele Doctor in her office at the Kids Beating Cancer headquarters on Princeton Street in Orlando, Florida.

  

"People want to be rich or hit the lotto. But if what I'm doing is helping to save somebody's life, then I consider that the richest thing that anybody can have. I know that what I'm doing each day is helping somebody. I may never meet that person, but what I am doing is helping somebody.  When I go on school campuses, they say, 'That's the marrow lady.' That's who I am!  That's what I do!"      - Adele Doctor 

Fourteen years ago the soft-spoken cryptologic technician retired after serving fifteen years in the United States Navy, where she copied top secret Morse codes.  She then began attending the University of Central Florida and studied broadcast news; however, the field proved too competitive for the thirty-something mother of three young children.  She switched her major to public relations and landed an internship at Kids Beating Cancer, a little known non-profit organization in Orlando serving clients suffering from cancer and other life-threatening diseases.

Kids Beating Cancer founder Margaret Voight Guedes (whose nine-year-old son John died of leukemia in 1992) later hired Adele Doctor as director of programs, and she immediately befriended a young client who needed a bone marrow transplant.  For one month the new director canvassed the African-American community searching for a marrow match for a sick little girl who reminded her of her own two daughters.  The girl died without ever receiving a bone marrow match, which was the moment that catapulted Adele purposely toward a new career in which she would gain notoriety as 'the marrow lady.'

Eight years later: "There is a critical need for more African-Americans on the national marrow registry because it's more likely to match someone of your own heritage.  The more African-Americans on the registry, the better the chances of finding the cure we need," emphasizes Adele, who says that Kids Beating Cancer is a 'well-kept secret' she wants to shamelessly publicize throughout the greater Orlando area.

It's no secret that the 51-year-old Winter Garden, Florida resident believes that the African-American community needs a wake-up call regarding marrow donation given the current low count of approximately 663,000 African-American registered donors. In her commitment to shed light on this important health issue, this professional woman facilitates bone marrow donor drives; gives speeches dismissing myths and fears about donor procedures; attends corporate luncheons to raise awareness; makes endless numbers of cold calls soliciting monetary donations; and, broadcasts throughout the community how bone marrow transplants can cure more than seventy-two diseases, including sickle cell anemia, which predominantly affects African-Americans.

"There are 8.5 million people on the registry, and only 7.8 percent are African-Americans. During the month of July, we will restart a committee of volunteers to help raise awareness of the need for more marrow donors on the registry," says the marrow lady.       

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Adele (l) and KBC founder Margaret Guedes (r) with two unidentified women.

Kids Beating Cancer serves both children and adults who suffer from cancer, sickle cell anemia, leukemia, aplastic anemia and other related life-threatening blood diseases.

The organization assists with clients' uninsured medical expenses and offers various programs that support clients and their family members during the most emotionally challenging times of their medical dilemma.  

On one hand, Adele admires the heroic efforts of clients who fight gallantly to stay alive despite myriad medical struggles.  On the other hand, the marrow lady and Kids Beating Cancer epitomize the humanitarianism needed to help make a difference in the lives of people facing life and death situations. 


The marrow lady attends funerals.
Adele recently attended the funeral of a three-year-old boy who died from cancer a few weeks after she delivered a teddy bear and blanket to his hospital bedside as part of the Kids Beating Cancer's Blanket Program.

The marrow lady supports clients.
A few years ago, Adele accompanied a young man who had aplastic anemia, his wife and their one-year-old son at radio appearances and donor drives while he implored African-Americans to join the registry.  One December day he called Adele with good news that the registry found him a donor.  Kids Beating Cancer provided financial support so that Patrick- a devoted husband, father and college student -could travel to Washington State for his bone marrow transplant.

The marrow lady waits patiently for a beautiful smile. 
A shy little girl, who perched safely on her father's hip, neither smiled nor allowed Adele or anyone else to hold her.  As the months advanced, familiarity painted a beautiful smile on her gorgeous face, and she welcomed Kids Beating Cancer staffers into her fragile world. Shanelle died last December at the age of seven from complications of sickle cell anemia, but not before her exciting modeling debut in the Kids Beating Cancer's American Girl Fashion Show two years ago. 


The surest path is one dedicated to a greater cause.
"If I spend eight hours at a [bone marrow] drive and test only one person, that person may make a difference and give another person a second chance at life. It's so important that I keep doing what I'm doing. I'm committed in that way because someone's life may be depending on it," says Adele Doctor, affectionately known as 'the marrow lady.' 

Want to Do Something Big?  There is a critical need for marrow donors in the African-American community. 

Contact Adele Doctor for more information.

Kids Beating Cancer

615 E. Princeton Street

Suite 400

Orlando, FL 32803

(407) 894-2888

www.kidsbeatingcancer.com

WHAT'S COMING IN AUGUST

Meet five amazing women - (left to right) Wendy, Jennifer, Carolina, Jasmin and Lisa -  who work at Westgate Resorts (Lake Ellenor center) in Orlando.  They share similar and different experiences about building professional relationships with other women in the workplace, how they enjoy witnessing women succeed in their profession and so much more.

"I actually like seeing women in power just because I think it's a great thing."

                                      -Carolina 

La'Vonda Wilder & Crystal Beatty Shine In Their Brilliances

Hello, Ladies.

I want to give a shout out to two "silly" women I met through our involvement in Toastmasters.  Trust me when I say they are not simple-minded, silly women.  They are, indeed, very intelligent and powerful women. They are success stories.  They are special women who are special to other women in their lives.  Count me among those women.

They are silly because they laugh and they make you laugh.  They enjoy life, and they are having the time of their lives. What is life without laughter?  It's too doggone serious, that's what it is.  Girlfriends, sometimes you just have to let that inner child in you just burst out in laughter and have the bestest fun in your life every chance you get.  Keep company with women who welcome you to join them in the festivities of utter silliness.  You'll never have a dull moment. 

Let me say this - La'Vonda Wilder and Crystal Beatty have met challenges that they successfully overcame.  That means that these two women are not to be denied their due respect.  They have my utmost respect, and I think you'll be inspired by their stories. That's why they are both featured in the 21st Century Woman Spotlight.  Love ya, Vonda & Crystal!!         -demetrice

21st Century Woman Spotlight

SPECIAL EDITION

Two Professional Women at Orange County Corrections Department Who Are Designing Pathways to Emotional and Intellectual Success

"I became a different person. I see the difference in my work ethics. I give it 110 percent. I do my work passionately. I don't do it for the pay because I enjoy doing it. I see the difference in how my supervisors treat me. People are calling me and asking me to work on projects, and I'm on leave right now. I know I'm a different person now. Definitely!"

La'Vonda Wilder shares how her personal life correlates with her professional life

Classifications Officer La'Vonda Wilder boasts matter-of-factly that her wonderful sense of humor livens a quiet room with energetic laughter and her beautiful smile welcomes compliments that energize engaging conversations.

Then, in a sweet breath of candidness, the Kissimmee, Florida resident admits, "Right now I don't feel that I am a strong person emotionally. I feel almost like a baby right now. I'm learning new things. I'm becoming more in touch with myself. I don't want to re-invent or re-create myself. I want to learn La'Vonda. It's very hard because I've created an image that people really can't touch."

On the flip side, this 'fabulous and 40' woman always feels intellectually strong because she has everything at hand and doesn't mind reaching out for help when hard reality sets in.

As this stiletto-shoes-loving woman eases on down the road of self-discovery, she'll easily strut pass Compassion Street because caring about the well-being of others comes naturally for this high-stepping survivor.

During the most negative time of her private life, she graciously opened her heart and exposed a well-kept secret to help a co-worker in emotional distress. Contrary to the rhythmic wisdom of the late legendary soul singer Sam Cooke, Vonda had no idea that a change was gonna come in her personal and professional lives.

None of Vonda's co-workers knew she had been diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time.  In fact, they were unaware of her first diagnosis of Stage 3 at age 23. They only knew she displayed a mean 'I don't care attitude,' but they knew not why she lashed out angrily at the world. No one ever received an invitation to her self-pity parties.

"I started feeling weird about people in general. I felt like I didn't have to be a good person anymore because I was going to keep getting afflicted with something. I did not give my best at work. People probably didn't want to work with me."

One fateful day a co-worker expressed concern about her mother's recent diagnosis of breast cancer. Immediately Vonda began revealing the painful secrecy behind her masked anger with tender loving care.

"I realized that I could have a positive effect on somebody. I stayed after work and told her my whole story because I thought she needed that. I shared everything I had gone through. I wanted her to know that I'm still standing and that breast cancer wasn't a death sentence for her mom."

"You know what compassion does?" she asks rhetorically.  "It makes you realize how important you are, also," she answers with her signature smile.

What a change! These days Vonda shines in her brilliance in both her personal and professional lives by adding a 'little extra flair' and 'pep in her step' in everything she does with her definition of success in mind. What's more - she likes and respects herself. "I have to like myself first before I can allow someone else to start liking me. And if I don't respect myself, I can't open up and allow anyone else to respect me."

Happiness, sans materialistic success, is what La'Vonda really wants out of life.

And her pretty 19-year-old daughter, Chafon, who has a shy spirit and beautifully thick black eyebrows, makes this diva mom the most happy.  Definitely!

Vonda says that her relationship with Chafon is good because she allows her daughter to voice her opinion, and she listens to what she has to say. When the mother and daughter duo are not making important life-changing decisions, they go on shopping sprees at DSW Shoes and JC Penney in search of shoes, clothes and 700 plus thread count sheets.

"Our relationship is so important, and it has always been just the two of us, on all accords. You don't see one of us without the other. I enjoy being with her. Right now I'm a little upset about this school thing, but I'm moving past that because school isn't for everyone. But I do respect her decisions. Just because you are a kid doesn't mean you don't have a voice. And I think that she respects my decisions. Decisions affect the both of us," says La'Vonda Wilder, who earned both bachelor's and master's degrees in psychology, despite the obstacles cast to discourage her passion for higher education. 

 

"I love my mother so much that when I come home and walk in the door and I see her here, I smile. She brings joy to my life; she is the light of my life. If I'm having a bad day I know I can call my mother, and she will just turn it around. I just enjoy knowing that she's my mother. Also, knowing that other people show love for my mother makes me smile." - Crystal Beatty

A mother's generational advice: love your child unconditionally, aim high and always act like a lady

Crystal Beatty was 16 years old and pregnant when her mother announced, "You're a woman now, and you're responsible for someone else." Later on that night, nearly 30 years ago, the Brooklyn, New York teenager pondered long and hard about the picture of reality painted by her devoted mother- the serious nature of motherhood.  She attributes that conversation to the beautiful and deep relationship she and her daughter have cultivated through the years. 

The gregarious Staffing Coordinator and devoted mother of 20-something Tiona, proudly displays on her office desk a picture of her and her mother, Marjorie, inside a frame inscribed with 'It's official. I've become my mother.' Quite a feat for a once rebellious teenager who, with support from her mother and strong determination, successfully graduated from high school on time, avoided the welfare system and worked hard to provide love, care and parental guidance for her precious baby daughter.

Crystal faithfully passes down her mother's wisdom to her daughter, nieces and nephews. See, Marjorie showered her own daughter and three sons with deep love and sound advice - love your children unconditionally, aim high, don't talk foolishness, be responsible and accept consequences for your mistakes.

Don't get it twisted, desperate times forced Marjorie to show tough love when the feisty teenage daughter got a little bit too wild in her sophomoric attempt to gain attention. 

"I remember once when I was on the train in New York talking loud and being obnoxious, somebody told my mother. After my mother knocked my head off, she told me, 'At all times conduct yourself like a lady because when you're in the street you represent me.' After waking up out of my coma, I took that advice and passed it down to my daughter," laughs Crystal, who walks confidently with her head held high... talks intelligently with steady eye-to-eye contact... and dresses impeccably. She IS an educated lady who has dual bachelor's of science degrees in human resource management and business administration. 

Mom and daughter are inseparable, and they have much in common: same birthday, college-educated, opinionated, shopaholics and conscious of their appearances. And they often venture eerily into the twilight zone when they speak and think similarly - simultaneously. 


Their strong mother-daughter connection keeps them emotionally and intellectually wired when separated from one another, if only for a moment.


"She takes care of me mentally mostly because she keeps me happy, even though she gets on my nerves sometimes," laughs the retired special education teacher. "Crystal keeps me happy. She keeps me happy!  When she comes home, I look forward to it when she says, 'Marge!!"

Crystal dutifully protects and takes good care of the Beatty family matriarch. "I can't fathom being without her. During the day, if I don't hear from my mother I get nervous... My mother did everything in her power to make sure I succeed in life. She raised me, now it's my turn to give back and make her feel as comfortable as possible. It's my duty."



Marjorie & Crystal inside their beautiful South Orlando home.



Her love for me is different than her love for my brothers, but it's still love.  -Crystal 

The mother-daughter connection is very important. If you don't connect, you can't relate. If you can't relate, you can't love. There is nothing without connection.
-Marjorie

WHAT'S COMING UP IN JULY

Candace Ribblett fell in a sinkhole on her road of life. She shares a recent negative experience that many women can relate to.  Click here to read her poem.

Keep Moving in the Right Direction

Oh, the challenges of life! Let me be more specific. Oh, the challenges of getting a book published, particularly one that's loaded with 50 graphics!!

I have been struggling with converting 40 Microsoft tables and graphs into .tiff or .jpeg images to be embedded into my manuscript since 11:30 p.m. yesternight. I reach out for 24/7 assistance, and the representative admits rather timidly, "I'm not technical." She advises me to call my check-in coordinator on Monday.

I have submitted my manuscript, Learn Your Inner Truths, to the publisher, who will not move forward until the images are properly formatted. I can't move forward until Monday. I am not a happy camper, nor am I a pretty sight this early in the morning.  Ain't life sweet, and I am so sleepy - yawn!

Learn Your Inner Truths: move in the right direction to reach your greatest potential

is a motivational guide designed to help employees achieve a more productive and successful career.

Learn Your Inner Truths

motivates you to reach into the depth of your inner strength and overcome negative experiences that keep you from becoming more successful in your career.

Learn Your Inner Truths

guides the career-minded woman and man in the right direction toward realizing their greatest potential in their workspace and the workplace. It champions building self-respect, self-confidence, self-determination, self-actualization and a strong sense of humanity.

 Learn Your Inner Truths 

coming June 2011

21st CENTURY WOMAN SPOTLIGHT



Dr. Patricia "Penny" Waters rests on a Cracker Barrel bench.





"Think and ask yourself, 'Am I being honest with myself?' It may take some time to think about it. Also, think about being honest with other people. Don't put on a stage play that you can't live up to, or else you'll fail. Then have an 'I can' attitude because everything is possible if you have an honest relationship with others. Take time to think about what's going on with you."



 - Dr. Patricia Waters' advice on how to keep moving in the right direction towards reaching your fullest potential. She lives in Kissimmee, Florida, with her husband, Bill. They have three adult children, Sheila, Ronald and Elizabeth.

She believed other people could be saved - not her. 

Today this professional and accomplished woman seeks advice from WJS Worldwide Consulting empowerment coach W. Jeannette Strickland, who helps her understand "the real me" and "the pretend me." She no longer fears being revealed as a superficial person who tries to please everybody - she now seeks comfort in being herself.  She knows her truth and strives for a greater sense of self-assurance.

"I'm on a journey. I know now I'm good enough to be saved," says Dr. Penny Waters - wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, friend, educator and God-fearing woman. Building better and stronger relationships is one of her many goals, including becoming a minister and professional speaker.

Dr. Waters' admits that her personal struggles with insecurity and low self-esteem sometimes overpower her 'can do' attitude.  Instead of building a mighty fortress of self-confidence, she builds stoneless walls of self-doubt which cause her to feel like a failure.  Then she remembers her unyielding commitment to be a role model for her young students.  Many years ago, a school principal told her she was built to be a special education teacher.   



Dr. Penny plays with her grandson, Zachary, while Sheila watches.



"If I'm telling my students that they can do it, then I have to show them that I believe in my abilities, also," says this special teacher, who earned bachelor, two masters and doctorate degrees in education. She received the Ph.D. degree while in her mid-60s.

"I've always had the "I can" attitude. When somebody says, I can't, it fires me up," says the strong-willed woman who likens herself to Forest Gump. "If I'm determined, I'm going to do it. I keep going and going. I can't stop."

What drives Dr. Penny in the right direction toward success despite her constant battle with feelings of insecurity?

Maybe it was the recognition she never received from her mother who displayed frames of her older siblings' accomplishments throughout the house.  Maybe it was the lack of confidence others had in her academic abilities. Maybe it's people like her son, who urged her to pursue her Ph.D, and the school principal who complimented her intelligence and strength.  Maybe it was the prophetic vision of a loving and supportive grandmother who knew her granddaughter would one day be a successful teacher.

Maybe it has always been and will always be something deep down inside Patricia that gives her the strength to forge straight ahead despite what anybody says. 

"My faith comes from within, and I grow stronger daily."

                                               -  Patricia Waters

WHAT'S COMING UP IN JUNE

SHINE IN YOUR  BRILLIANCE!

Design your pathway to emotional and intellectual success in the homeplace, workspace and workplace.

 

Be bold, creative and unique. Be YOU!